*Same Fight club quote here*
I am only an aged child… I haven't really grown older in my state of mind. In general it seems I’ve grown colder (insert any number of songs here… (but make it a positive finite rational number please…)) The only other thing that has changed in my life is increased knowledge. If I could give the things that I’ve learned to myself 5 years ago, I don’t think that I would be a very different person. Would I buckle down and learn for a better today? I doubt it…
Along that thought I occasionally think about my future self seeing me in present day. And similarly I think about what I would do if I could send knowledge back to myself today? I think about this one more than the first… because it seems more useful.
In each case, I initially think that I would tell myself to become a better person and all that... but both of me would know the result of saying that. Then I would remember that I was the same 5 years ago... so if I were writing a post like this it would have turned out very similar… But as I hinted in an earlier post back then I was waiting for the world to change, and to prove my beliefs wrong…
If I were to meet myself, I doubt anything need be said... because 5 years ago I thought of my future self, and what I would say to me... and now that I am me, we were right… old me wouldn’t tell young me to buckle down and learn because old me didn't when he was there (and who am I to tell me what to do?)...
And in five years if 25 year old me were to read this post via the magic of the interweb, he would probably want to say something like: be more social, don't get in a fender-bender on such a date, and whatever you do buy this lottery ticket... but he wouldn't say anything... yes he would... he would definitely post the winning lotto numbers... but no advice on life or on my outlook...
It's hard to write very much about this... It's there between the ears... but when the eyes see it in notepad, they tell the fingers what a poor job communicating they've done... so the brain checks it and deletes it... without that check... you would be reading a lot of sentence fragments, but those might do a better job describing... this post has a lot of paragraphs that say nothing... followed by sentences like that…
Just to clarify:
I don't know everything...
In five years I won't know everything...
A few days after making the rough draft:
I do believe that in five years I will be drastically different than I am now... Graduate, get a job, move out, get a life... But I think all the change in my personality that occurs within that time will do so within the last year or so; when those four things are most likely to happen. Until then, I'll likely stay relatively the same... oh well...
L8R -- Michael
