I’ve recently thought about blogging a lot. I wrote a few rough drafts and never finished them… So I now I’m thinking that I’m going to just copy and old post and call it a new one.
Thoughts about the floor:
001 a-c) Enjoy the basement next year.
002 a) It will be interesting having us room together… I generally like you, and I believe your job will take you anywhere you want to go in life. I dislike your two second cough-laugh; whenever you didn’t understand something or didn’t hear it completely. I believe that everyone likes you, even those that don’t know you. I believe this is due to people seeing you as a non-threatening younger sibling.
002 b) I think your life will work out. Though the way you react to things often seems childish, I believe that you’ll do well in the things you attempt.
003 a) I think next year, out of everyone, you and I will strongly disagree about things. In part because I see us as the only two willing to publicly disagree with another member of the house.
003 b) Enjoy Mines.
003 c) You’ll probably injure yourself horribly or get expelled for what you do in the residence hall, in either case, enjoy life.
004 a) You were a pretty horrible R.A. Admittedly we didn’t get along very well, but none of that matters anymore. It’s not entirely unlikely that we’ll meet again and it probably won’t matter if we do.
005 a) I often relate to you, without mention of course. The decisions you’ve made I probably would have made in your position. The way you react to things you don’t understand is very similar to the way I used to.
005 b) I occasionally relate to you. You often come across as desperate for attention but there are times were you bite your tongue and I admire you for it. By signing up for America’s next front line your life has gone in an almost unbelievably different direction. It really makes me think about the endings of life, and what we all end up doing.
006 a) I dislike how loud you are and how often that volume is used. I will make it clear to the people living with me that I never want to hear you again.
006 b) Enjoy Mines.
007 a-b) Who?
008 a) Hopefully you are able to pay for your education all the way though. I also hope that you do better in the coming semesters. I like you because I often get the impression that you’re aware of your surroundings and other’s existence. You’re very agreeable and I believe you could lead the group if you wanted to.
008 b) You’ve got the drive to get business done. While I’m not sure that Mines is the place for you, I do believe that you’ll enjoy your job in management.
008 c) Enjoy Mines.
009 a) I think you’ve kinda had a falling out with the floor recently. My guess is that it would have been temporary but with the year ending it doesn’t really matter.
009 b) I believe that you are tired of me as a roommate. I don’t foresee any issues living together next year… It’s hard for me to type why I believe that you’re tired of me.
Well, those were boring and uninspired…
This year has gone well academically for me, first semester I received B’s in NHV and circuits. I predict this semester I’ll get a few B’s because I’m borderline in 5 of my classes. Socially, not terribly much has changed, I do believe that I’m willing to discuss more in a conversation, but equally unlikely to start one. Physically, I’ve improved little, unlike Phillip who I hear is now an expert runner. Emoticon-ally, I believe that I’ve become less caring in general. And perhaps more sad, there are times when I contemplate releasing salt water despite my eyes having adequate moisture. I can’t remember the last time I released such unnecessary fluid from my eye; it has been at least 5 years. But recently I’ve thought of the act and the typically associated emoticons. Narcissistically, I do believe my acne has improved, and I’ve become more tone.
From May 12 to May 30 I’ll be the library barista. I’ll sit behind my cart weekdays from 7:45am to 3:00pm selling coffee. My guess is that I’ll sell very little coffee to a student body that is home for the summer, so I’ll need something else to pass the time. Sounds like a party right? What do people do in libraries?
Peace -- Michael
Intellectual Backflips, Minesweeper, and Ellipses.
4 comments:
I don't really understand what you saying.
But nice to see an update on your blog.
I've been waiting since .. what seem like forever.
I hope it will be better for you next year.
I wish I could be at the library.
:-)
Well, I'm not really that good of a runner....
Anyway, I think one of the main reasons you're probably less happy is that you're distancing yourself physically from the people that you probably ever connected with. I don't mean to toot my own horn but I think that includes me. I think you are also happier to be around Lisa sometimes and it doesn't help that you're not going to be home for the summer. I mean I understand that you want to take summer classes as well as live in the house, but I think that because you can be pretty distant it's more difficult to befriend and have solid conversations where you can release some of that pent up emotion with the people in your dorms.
You shouldn't keep swallowing how you feel, it's not really a weakness so much as a way to stay sane to vent every now and then. Yeah, it's not the traditional ideal of an independant person, but one way or another there is definitely some need for companionship and I think you've almost always denied yourself that.
Perhaps I'm wrong though, I don't know how close you are with the people that you've met at Mines, but judging from this post I would say that you've never really had a meaningful (to you) conversation with really any of these people.
Oh well, hopefully I can find some time pretty soon to come up and hang out, I think it might do you well to talk to someone that you actually are willing to talk to.
Like when I'm home I try to feel out which things I can tag along with you to. But often the things you do are with certain people and I feel that I would only be a third wheel. The evidence against this argument is strong though, such as me dragging mom to that award ceremony. I guess that I'm intentionally distancing myself from you so that I affect you less. The time I've been gone appears, on the surface, to have gone really well for you, so I have attempted to just float along on the side, playing the occasional game of tennis or whatever. In the future I would definitely like to hang out with you more, and in the long time from now future I'd enjoy a similar scenario.
As far as my relationship with Lisa, I just don't see us doing anything together for the next three fifths of a dozen years so I guess I'm taking every convenient chance to spend time with her. (I hate when people say half a dozen) Historically, it kinda seems like she's looked down on, and I guess (however horrible this may sound) that I did things with her almost out of pity. But college seems to have increased her independence, which I think has really made her life better.
I've often heard that pent up emotions need to be vented, but I not sure I agree with the theory. I think I've done a pretty good job keeping mine under lock and key for as long as I can remember (not true... a strong memory from the past that often comes back to me is: you and I fighting in the basement of the Sumner house, maybe a year after we moved in, and I'm controlling the wrestling, then you hit me like in the ear or something, and I recoil in pain, then I DECIDE to hurt you. Like, I thought it out, and I wanted to cause you pain. I knew you had no chance to stop me, and I spine punched you. (Whenever I think through this I stop whatever I'm doing for like five seconds, my hands retract, and I get all chocked up. (This paragraph probably has taken me five fourths of a dozen minutes to write because of this.))) Anyway, that was like seven years ago, and sense then I really don't think that I've shown a significant level of emotion. And I doubt I'll go nuts and release it all at once. It just seems like I'm used to it, when bad things happen in my life nowadays I just shrug and it doesn't affect me... And if I was hooked up to a lie detector at the time I think it would remain flat, but the same could be said if I were hooked up to an electrocardiograph...
I'm not close at all with anybody at mines, (or elsewhere) all questions asked presuppose a one word answer, and group activities are non-existent. But all of this has some potential to change in the near future. 002a will be rooming with me come fall, and I get the feeling that we'll go hiking together and possibly converse though more than singularities. (every way that sentence could have ended that would have actually meant something just sounded really gay... (but w/e, there is a potential emotional connection there))
As far as getting together, I'm down anytime; I'll probably crash your graduation party. And this drunken GH has some serious potential.
Peace -- Michael
Well, things going well for me is really a function of two devices and one person. Having a phone and a car lead me to become better friends with Jackie until we ultimately ended up together and her helping me figure out which things about me were most universally hated (turns out it was the insulting life commentary I supplied, imagine that) and eliminate them. I still only really have three good friends, but I guess a lot of a acquiantances that I hang out with.
Take this as the general rule for when you're in town: you're welcome to hang out with me and my friends whenever - we all like you and it'll be cool to have someone put Matt in his place with Rock Band whenever we play that ;).
Oh, and I remember the instance you're talking about. I actually hit you in the nose and it was somewhat on accident. You were behind me and I did that stupid throw a punch over my shoulder thing and I clocked you clean. But yeah, I do vaguely remember getting whooped up on but that happened with a fair deal of frequency so I can't remember one from another.
I don't think the argument against holding your emotions is solely based in the possibility of going bat-shit crazy and hurting someone. I think it's more founded in not living your life in a perpetual state of unhappiness. The longer you're left to stew on something the worse it'll seem for the most part. It's not like thinking about the bleakness of a situation ever made it all better :P. And the ability to shrug things off just makes you progressively more disaffected with everything. It's good to just get mad about shit once and a while at bare minimum to remember how to.
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