I was recently asked something along the lines of:
Are you happy with what you've done in the fraction of your life that's passed?
Being 21... Let’s assume that a quarter of my life is over.
I might argue that the first couple years of my life I wasn't really self aware, so those years might not count equally, and for the last few years of my life I might also be a less cognizant human. While there some problems with that simplification, the exact fraction is really not the relevant point to the question. Although, it seems like aspects of awareness and ability should be incorporated in the answer.
(fyi: Kittens are really cute. There are currently two sleeping in my lap, Yay kittens)
How does one measure one's self?
Well as a logical first step, who am I after twenty one years of life?
What I know?
- I know about / how to interact with most everything that I encounter. A list of specific examples may include: Many computer programs, how to transport myself, the layout of places I've been, every Simpson episode, how to interact with others (i.e. when not to challenge someone to fight (joke (not joke))), how things will be after an event (collisions, social interactions, initial conditions give final), many video games, how to communicate, things that have happened... The list is endless, and is best summed up with the first sentence.
What I can do?
- I can interact with most everything that I encounter, and is fairly similar to the previous question. Specifically: lead others, juggle, live independently, snowboard, build with legos (even without holding the blocks), learn new things quickly, sweep mines, earn a 3.7 at Mines, fight, anything I want, and so can you (Frank)...
How I think?
- I think about helping people. I would like to believe that I'm able to think selflessly. I want everyone's life to be better (although, that should probably go later). I'm not sure but I might think physically (whatever that means). I often see and manipulate things in 3D (like if asked where something is, to envision something, or to predict an interaction). I suppose this Blog is full of examples of how I think; I really do argue both sides of everything with myself.
What others think of me?
- Always a though one... well, I believe others dismiss me due to my inability to speak. Among my house I would guess that I'm thought of old, strong, and relatively smart. However, I haven't really spoken to any of them and am not sure what they really think of me (and I'll likely post what I think of them soon (soon in my Blog terms)).
What's my past?
- Education, learning to do things.
What's my future?
- Graduate, get job, marry, travel, kids, Victorian mansion in the suburbs?
What do I want?
- Well, obviously that future starting with graduation. I want good things for everyone. I believe that I can do net good in the world by becoming a Nuclear Engineer. I believe that many of the problems in the world would be aided by essentially free energy.
Well, that was a long part one... So, if that's who I am after twenty years... then uhh... Perhaps it's time to reread the question... Happy with the fraction of my life that's passed.
Well initially I see three ways to look at this. I could compare my life to the lives of others (imdb 52nd best movie, I liked it), I could look at my life and what I want my life to be, then see if I'm on track, or I could think about everything I could have been.
So, if we're comparing my life to others:
Then I really have no idea. I go to an engineering school and have an ok GPA... but what does that mean, I don't think I'm in any position to compare myself to others.
Comparing the fraction that has passed with that of the future:
If my life is what I listed as my future, then I'm right on track. Graduating with a Masters in Nuclear Engineering is probably not easy, and hopefully provides a good starting point for the rest of life.
Compare with what I could have been:
Well, I could be bigger, better, stronger, faster, smarter. This is very similar to my post +/- 5 years. I could change my life today and be better in five years... or I could just keep going on the path I'm on and get to a similar place.
Well, judging myself in those ways, in the first quarter of my life, I'm doing pretty well. So, what's the rest of my life hold? I think that I'll be in the first quarter of my life for the next two and a half years, not that I plan on living to one hundred, but following these...
1st quarter: Shape your body and mind. Some people know who they are early on, so this stage probably ends sometime between 16 and 22 (23 for me (snap I'm old)).
2nd quarter: Get a job, find yourself, reproduce, and raise decedents. I guess this period would end around 40; perhaps later if your offspring(s) don't leave for awhile.
3rd quarter: How should I know... My plan for the future ends mid 30's... perhaps I should plan for a mid-life crisis.
4th quarter: Death? Again, how should I know... I really don't know any old people...
Looking back through this, I realize that I didn’t say anything about ability and awareness. When I wrote it I was thinking that the importance of life is shaped like a bell curve. The first few years of your life don’t matter, the time spent in middle school doesn’t really matter, admittedly these times help to shape who you are, but I believe they matter little. I also believe that the last few years of life are relatively unimportant. This is another way I think about the quarter of my life that has passed; the important moments in my life are yet to come and I think I’ve prepared myself for them in a satisfactory way.
Hopefully something in this helps you.
Peace – Michael
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2 comments:
Looking back on this post I guess my question really stemmed out of me being rather anxious to do something, but I guess I don't know what that would be.
I agree with all that you wrote, particularly the portion concerning kittens, but I suppose I'm just internally more cynical about my life.
I agree that the beginning of life is positioning yourself to perform some function - but to me sustaining this kind of thought is accepting defeat. I would respond to this kind of thinking with the question, when will your life be the actual time to perform that function? If you get out of college and can't get directly into the field you want will you get a job doing something else? Will you become complacent that it's just another stone on the path?
I can't know the answers to those questions for either of us, but I'm feeling some desire to answer no for me. I can't let myself become complacent that I'm walking in the right direction because at some point I think I would just too accepting of the pause.
Really I think that's just a point to ponder for you, what insurance do you have that you'll actively pursue what you think you want to do and not simply accept the present as a sufficient situation. If you feel good enough direction that you're on the right path I encourage you to continue.
I guess - to restate everything for the upteenth time here - my desire to be more than I have been is all I've got making sure I'll still strive to actually achieve something (from my perspective).
Well (point by point), the timing of the question may indicate that your anxiousness stemmed from the completion of your first semester away from everything / everyone (congratulations). Upon returning home there could have been some realization regarding the vastness of existence when compared to the relative smallness in which you call home, and are so accustomed.
Ah kittens...
With regard to your third paragraph, I suppose I would cite the post. Right now building up my future / mind is my sole priority, and I accept that statement nearly blindly. The second quarter of my life will be the time to preform my function in society. With specific regard to entering the field I would like; I again cite my blind trust in this future. In the second quarter I listed, 'find yourself.' I intend to evaluate what I'm doing with my life and where my current career is taking me at that time. On a side note, this criteria is an easy way to determine whether your talking to a prospective / current graduate student; if they express any interest in delaying their own life... then they're a grad student.
I would lump your last paragraph into the first quarter of life category... by definition. While you don't have to follow my belief of develop yourself then figure life out, your views in self-improvement do seem similar. (but don't ask Durden about this)
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