As We Speak

Our actions are based on commitments from the past. First, we decide to do or say something, then we trust ourselves while doing it, that the something is worth completing. If we reevaluate during the process then we may find something else to do.

Once a sentence is started there is a commitment to finish it. But once I start speaking a sentence I move on in my mind to other things. Often once I have thought about what comes next I no longer feel like that sentence I am still in the process of saying is worth saying. Perhaps half way through, it becomes obvious what the response of the other person will be. Then from that, my response to theirs may not be worth saying.

Writing is different. Each word can be evaluated many times before the final document is published for others to view and make interpretations from the selection presented to them. The author can mentally wander around and return to write the couple next words. What is read is then the concentrated form of what was meant.

Speaking represents one-shot, one-opportunity, to state your case with the hope that those listening are actively attempting to follow. I believe that a major characteristic of a person that I base my opinion of them on is how actively they listen. I believe many people passively listen. If a passive listener hears something clearly then they interpret it. However, if there is a doubt in their mind they ask for clarification. I see an active listener as one who actively focuses on hearing while another speaks. An active listener attempts to recreate unheard parts of sentences before responding or processing. I see this as different from an attempt of the listener to understand or be empathetic. I see the basis of active listening as the listener’s focus. I feel like this became a personal rant.

One who pictures understanding as levels of thought has limited themselves to the second level.

Woo! Minesweeper No-Flag expert in 135 seconds.

Oh right, I was totally writing something here... hum... oh commitments from the past; well let me get back to it.

Hopefully, what is written here in itself provides a fair metaphor for thinking while speaking. If one were thinking the above written instead of reading what is written above then I believe it would have taken less than the time required to say something meaningful. So, I have jumped back to the beginning, but now that I am again writing about it does it really seem the same? Do I feel the same things about my thoughts leaving my tongue in the dust after writing about writing being a selection for interpretation? (Edit comment: I had to reread that one five times) So if I were orally explaining the topic of my thoughts running laps around the words I was in the process of saying I do not think I would bother finishing what I was trying to express because of those things that transpired in my head would have changed how I saw the topic to be expressed.

Now for some overarching claims:
I guess this is why "nothing matters" to many people or why they do not give opinions. Once they have expressed an answer it no longer is how it was while they prepared it.

93.3 and 106.7 were both at commercials today, so I mashed the rest for the presets and wound up on 100.3 with Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield playing. I came in around halfway to the song and enjoyed listening to it. I tried to remember some of the lyrics so I could look it up later but forgot them the moment I reached my driveway. Fortunately, the station’s website provided me with the name. I do not really like the sound of it now, or the video for that matter. The message of the song reminded me of As We Speak by Soilwork. I really like this song, for the lyrics and the lofty background chorus. I have been thinking about the line "As we speak we turn to stone" recently. I interpret this line to mean that once something is spoken it defines the person that said it. So by saying things, as people we are thereafter seen as a collection of the things that we have decided to share. But I hardly share anything, and I would guess that other people share very little compared to all of the things that they think or even the things that they consider saying but do not. I see this as the source of a difference between self image and the way others see us. Others only get a portion of who we are to judge us by. I suppose that my thoughts of who someone is could be thought of as a two-dimensional slice of their three-dimensional self based on the limited context from which I know them compared to the infinite context from which they know themselves.

Speaking is such an obviously limited form of communication. We can out-think what we say; the thoughts filtered in an attempt to produce a cohesive message for the listener to understand are lost. I think how people deal with these inexpressible thoughts is important. Speaking also cannot express much of our experience in the world. To speak, removes the speaker from the state of mind that their message could be complete.

Well, I guess I will stop writing now. I wonder how editing-me will see these topics differently. I also wonder how the interpretations made by the editor will differ. Finally, I suppose I wonder too about one reading this. Will the reader be relating the above to something they have experienced, rejecting the nonsense written above, or the third option? The third option is always right.

Like Grover, I believe the above did not use any contractions. Perhaps the Quakers are right in their belief of things to be plainly spoken.

I think these are the things I have been thinking about recently that were not spoken for one reason or another. Perhaps I have been dwelling on them so that eventually they may be released, even if it is here.

Next day, pre-edit, comment: Well, for the first time in years while enjoying 11 hours of sleep, I had a lucid dream. While it was pretty long and detailed, the lucid portion came only at the end. I was in a Vegas casino under construction. There were a lot of meetings going on in the different rooms despite the walls not being completely finished. I felt like a guest but I was not there for the meetings. Eventually, I was looking for a way to leave the floor I was on, I found a two story staircase down but I was above the lower end of the staircase and there was not a rail. So I thought to myself that if I were in a dream then I could easily take this fall. So, without much more thought I jumped off. I landed on a foot, a knee, and both palms, and stopped suddenly without pain. I then realized I had survived the fall and must then be in a dream. I thought back to the real world and what I would tell people, as it was my first lucid dream in years. I never found an answer to that because I decided to stay in the lucid dream I had to focus on the things around me to prevent from awakening. I seemed to be in a large DVD store, so I quickly started reading the titles to myself. After a bit, I found my way to a wall of large glass refrigerators, like in convenience stores. I was holding a hammer and decided that dream me might as well do something cool before I awoke. I threw the hammer into one of the glass plates guarding the beverages. It cracked in place, fell to the floor as one, then shattered throwing pieces in every direction along the floor. I looked around at the pieces for a bit, and then woke up. Then I had two more really involved dreams that I was not lucid for. So concludes the next day, pre-edit, comment. Alright, it is editing time. Alright, editing time is over just like that.

Peace -- Mike