Our actions are based on commitments from the past. First, we decide to do or say something, then we trust ourselves while doing it, that the something is worth completing. If we reevaluate during the process then we may find something else to do.
Once a sentence is started there is a commitment to finish it. But once I start speaking a sentence I move on in my mind to other things. Often once I have thought about what comes next I no longer feel like that sentence I am still in the process of saying is worth saying. Perhaps half way through, it becomes obvious what the response of the other person will be. Then from that, my response to theirs may not be worth saying.
Writing is different. Each word can be evaluated many times before the final document is published for others to view and make interpretations from the selection presented to them. The author can mentally wander around and return to write the couple next words. What is read is then the concentrated form of what was meant.
Speaking represents one-shot, one-opportunity, to state your case with the hope that those listening are actively attempting to follow. I believe that a major characteristic of a person that I base my opinion of them on is how actively they listen. I believe many people passively listen. If a passive listener hears something clearly then they interpret it. However, if there is a doubt in their mind they ask for clarification. I see an active listener as one who actively focuses on hearing while another speaks. An active listener attempts to recreate unheard parts of sentences before responding or processing. I see this as different from an attempt of the listener to understand or be empathetic. I see the basis of active listening as the listener’s focus. I feel like this became a personal rant.
One who pictures understanding as levels of thought has limited themselves to the second level.
Woo! Minesweeper No-Flag expert in 135 seconds.
Oh right, I was totally writing something here... hum... oh commitments from the past; well let me get back to it.
Hopefully, what is written here in itself provides a fair metaphor for thinking while speaking. If one were thinking the above written instead of reading what is written above then I believe it would have taken less than the time required to say something meaningful. So, I have jumped back to the beginning, but now that I am again writing about it does it really seem the same? Do I feel the same things about my thoughts leaving my tongue in the dust after writing about writing being a selection for interpretation? (Edit comment: I had to reread that one five times) So if I were orally explaining the topic of my thoughts running laps around the words I was in the process of saying I do not think I would bother finishing what I was trying to express because of those things that transpired in my head would have changed how I saw the topic to be expressed.
Now for some overarching claims:
I guess this is why "nothing matters" to many people or why they do not give opinions. Once they have expressed an answer it no longer is how it was while they prepared it.
93.3 and 106.7 were both at commercials today, so I mashed the rest for the presets and wound up on 100.3 with Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield playing. I came in around halfway to the song and enjoyed listening to it. I tried to remember some of the lyrics so I could look it up later but forgot them the moment I reached my driveway. Fortunately, the station’s website provided me with the name. I do not really like the sound of it now, or the video for that matter. The message of the song reminded me of As We Speak by Soilwork. I really like this song, for the lyrics and the lofty background chorus. I have been thinking about the line "As we speak we turn to stone" recently. I interpret this line to mean that once something is spoken it defines the person that said it. So by saying things, as people we are thereafter seen as a collection of the things that we have decided to share. But I hardly share anything, and I would guess that other people share very little compared to all of the things that they think or even the things that they consider saying but do not. I see this as the source of a difference between self image and the way others see us. Others only get a portion of who we are to judge us by. I suppose that my thoughts of who someone is could be thought of as a two-dimensional slice of their three-dimensional self based on the limited context from which I know them compared to the infinite context from which they know themselves.
Speaking is such an obviously limited form of communication. We can out-think what we say; the thoughts filtered in an attempt to produce a cohesive message for the listener to understand are lost. I think how people deal with these inexpressible thoughts is important. Speaking also cannot express much of our experience in the world. To speak, removes the speaker from the state of mind that their message could be complete.
Well, I guess I will stop writing now. I wonder how editing-me will see these topics differently. I also wonder how the interpretations made by the editor will differ. Finally, I suppose I wonder too about one reading this. Will the reader be relating the above to something they have experienced, rejecting the nonsense written above, or the third option? The third option is always right.
Like Grover, I believe the above did not use any contractions. Perhaps the Quakers are right in their belief of things to be plainly spoken.
I think these are the things I have been thinking about recently that were not spoken for one reason or another. Perhaps I have been dwelling on them so that eventually they may be released, even if it is here.
Next day, pre-edit, comment: Well, for the first time in years while enjoying 11 hours of sleep, I had a lucid dream. While it was pretty long and detailed, the lucid portion came only at the end. I was in a Vegas casino under construction. There were a lot of meetings going on in the different rooms despite the walls not being completely finished. I felt like a guest but I was not there for the meetings. Eventually, I was looking for a way to leave the floor I was on, I found a two story staircase down but I was above the lower end of the staircase and there was not a rail. So I thought to myself that if I were in a dream then I could easily take this fall. So, without much more thought I jumped off. I landed on a foot, a knee, and both palms, and stopped suddenly without pain. I then realized I had survived the fall and must then be in a dream. I thought back to the real world and what I would tell people, as it was my first lucid dream in years. I never found an answer to that because I decided to stay in the lucid dream I had to focus on the things around me to prevent from awakening. I seemed to be in a large DVD store, so I quickly started reading the titles to myself. After a bit, I found my way to a wall of large glass refrigerators, like in convenience stores. I was holding a hammer and decided that dream me might as well do something cool before I awoke. I threw the hammer into one of the glass plates guarding the beverages. It cracked in place, fell to the floor as one, then shattered throwing pieces in every direction along the floor. I looked around at the pieces for a bit, and then woke up. Then I had two more really involved dreams that I was not lucid for. So concludes the next day, pre-edit, comment. Alright, it is editing time. Alright, editing time is over just like that.
Peace -- Mike
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
December 15 Dream
Jeff, Ryan, and I were in our house where Randall hall was; such that the front door opened east. I was looking out the front windows occasionally and we were talking something fairly important. The subject turned to tornadoes as I looked outside and saw a silhouetted tornado against a sunset sky. I told them about it and they didn’t really believe me. I went outside for a better view. I looked around and it was like a cloud city and our house had a much larger front porch held up by the same column that held up our house. The tornado seemed to be coming from the top of a large slow-flying ship and large antenna on top. Viewing the ship it flew in a direction towards my 8 o’clock with the tornado staying on top of it. As it went the tornado faded away and when Ryan and Jeff came out it had completely disappeared, we all watched the ship go around the side of the house. I took the path from the residence halls to follow it (how they really are laid out). But I didn’t take the most direct path looking back at it. Once I was on this path we were no longer in a cloud city, everything was laid out as the residence halls really are.
Before I turned the corner to see the ship I was lifted forward by a force on my neck; not in an unpleasant way. Floating along slowly in the direction of the ship, my toes just barely drug along the top of the snow. I’m not sure if I was the one making myself float or not. While floating I was wondering if Jeff and Ryan were looking, and if they were what they were thinking.
Just after turning the corner of the building I was flipped around in the air and hit the ground. I thought about them watching me and how they would never know what really just happened. I started giggling and rolling around because they would never know. I landed on an inflatable mattress. Ryan came over and grabbed the big toe of my right foot. His hand was amazingly warm, maybe ~100 degrees Fahrenheit. We talked for a while and I might have mentioned aliens but all the while he kept holding my toe. I finally said something about it and he let go. I noticed the M displaying an 8, as it does near the end of school, but it wasn’t in the right place. It appeared to be coming from the base of White Ranch open space. The 8 appeared at the base of the mountain the ship would have hit. I told Ryan it was in the wrong spot, as the real M should be on Zion, on which, there was nothing.
The white 8 turned red. Ryan and I just sat there watching it, sitting on the mattress. It then changed into a picture show, displaying around one per second. The pictures took up my entire field of view. I seemed to know why all of the pictures were in the show without ever having seen them before. So I told Ryan what each one stood for as it came up, so he would understand. I wish I could remember what I had said during this part of the dream; I think it was the point. In the first few slides was a black and white old style rotary two piece phone. I said, continuing my ramble, “The phone is symbolic of the servant.” It kept changing and I kept talking. For some reason this is the only one I remember but all the things I said were along that line. I knew the images were far away but they were all I could see.
The moment the pictures stopped I got a call. I showed Ryan it was ringing as if I had something to prove. The contact came up, “Carl” and I thought it was Karl S. one of Phillip’s old friends. I didn’t think about the spelling difference at the time. I answered and Carl/Karl said, “Hey this must be about the…” Interrupting and speaking very quickly I said, “aliens because there is no way you could have called me that fast after the slideshow.” He said nothing, I think he was shocked. Sometime later another voice came on. I thought it was his younger brother or something. (But Karl doesn’t have a brother) The voice and I talked for a bit, exchanging pleasantries and whatnot. Inside the house I was pacing around talking to him. His voice was soft and I guessed he was around 9 years old. He eventually said, “You’re a good person Michael.” I said, “Thanks” and waited as if it was time for him to tell me why he called. Around five seconds later I thought to myself that I was talking to the aliens. The dream then ended suddenly. Those were the only lines of dialogue I could recall upon awakening.
Yep. The whole thing had an important feel about it. Upon awakening I just lay there for around ten minutes. It was too dark at 6:00a to write it down it bed, so I took it downstairs to write it up.
Peace -- Mike
Before I turned the corner to see the ship I was lifted forward by a force on my neck; not in an unpleasant way. Floating along slowly in the direction of the ship, my toes just barely drug along the top of the snow. I’m not sure if I was the one making myself float or not. While floating I was wondering if Jeff and Ryan were looking, and if they were what they were thinking.
Just after turning the corner of the building I was flipped around in the air and hit the ground. I thought about them watching me and how they would never know what really just happened. I started giggling and rolling around because they would never know. I landed on an inflatable mattress. Ryan came over and grabbed the big toe of my right foot. His hand was amazingly warm, maybe ~100 degrees Fahrenheit. We talked for a while and I might have mentioned aliens but all the while he kept holding my toe. I finally said something about it and he let go. I noticed the M displaying an 8, as it does near the end of school, but it wasn’t in the right place. It appeared to be coming from the base of White Ranch open space. The 8 appeared at the base of the mountain the ship would have hit. I told Ryan it was in the wrong spot, as the real M should be on Zion, on which, there was nothing.
The white 8 turned red. Ryan and I just sat there watching it, sitting on the mattress. It then changed into a picture show, displaying around one per second. The pictures took up my entire field of view. I seemed to know why all of the pictures were in the show without ever having seen them before. So I told Ryan what each one stood for as it came up, so he would understand. I wish I could remember what I had said during this part of the dream; I think it was the point. In the first few slides was a black and white old style rotary two piece phone. I said, continuing my ramble, “The phone is symbolic of the servant.” It kept changing and I kept talking. For some reason this is the only one I remember but all the things I said were along that line. I knew the images were far away but they were all I could see.
The moment the pictures stopped I got a call. I showed Ryan it was ringing as if I had something to prove. The contact came up, “Carl” and I thought it was Karl S. one of Phillip’s old friends. I didn’t think about the spelling difference at the time. I answered and Carl/Karl said, “Hey this must be about the…” Interrupting and speaking very quickly I said, “aliens because there is no way you could have called me that fast after the slideshow.” He said nothing, I think he was shocked. Sometime later another voice came on. I thought it was his younger brother or something. (But Karl doesn’t have a brother) The voice and I talked for a bit, exchanging pleasantries and whatnot. Inside the house I was pacing around talking to him. His voice was soft and I guessed he was around 9 years old. He eventually said, “You’re a good person Michael.” I said, “Thanks” and waited as if it was time for him to tell me why he called. Around five seconds later I thought to myself that I was talking to the aliens. The dream then ended suddenly. Those were the only lines of dialogue I could recall upon awakening.
Yep. The whole thing had an important feel about it. Upon awakening I just lay there for around ten minutes. It was too dark at 6:00a to write it down it bed, so I took it downstairs to write it up.
Peace -- Mike
Sunday, December 13, 2009
December 13 Dream
Someone I've been talking to recently recommended I put a pencil and paper by my bed to write down my dreams. So this is the result of the first attempt.
I initially copied this outline into word. But I kinda thought that it was an interpretation of what had happened. And more specifically my interpretation, so an hour later I don't feel bad adding more to it, as it is mine to add. So here I how I wrote it up:
12 /13 / 09
Short Dream ~10min
Watch him leave house
Watch him ride around block
Take picture in basement
Send text message
I’m in front of mom’s house somewhat out of sight. She leaves the house. Matthew puts Garfield on his back on a bike and rides around the block, I don’t actually see him do this; he just leaves on a bike with the cat on his back. The cat is just lying down on his lower back. He sticks his head over the side like a dog out of a window. The bike is a fairly old mountain bike. They talk about Matthew’s deciding not to live, more like he’s board of living and is ready for other things. He rides somewhat dangerously but the cat says he’s glad not more so. Matthew says if the cat wasn’t there he would be. They take the short way around the Greens, mostly staying in the right hand lane.
I’m following them around the block in a plane, roughly 100ft up, barely faster than bike speed. Still faster than them, so I have to circle around sometimes. This keeps up for the duration of the block (which is a short one).
He pulls into the driveway and I park at Matt’s house (down the street (different Matt)). While landing I noticed another plane much higher than me kinda watching also. Matthew watching me, or government, or just another plane? I really don’t remember landing. I kinda slowed down over Matt’s house, and then I was in his basement. In the basement I put together some ingredients: Cereal, peanut butter, flower, sugar… about 8 ingredients. I really don’t remember what they were for but I knew at the time. I’d guess they were ingredients to make Reese’s Cups, or maybe no bake cookies. I take a picture of them with my camera, rearrange them and bring in some new ones, take another picture. As if they were two different but very similar recipes.
Then I sent Matthew a text saying something like, “Nice recruitment video.” I think it said more, like how I was impressed he rode around the block with the cat on his back. It might have totaled 14 words, but I’m not really sure what it said. “Nice recruitment video” was the closest thing to it I could think of when I woke up.
This is my first picture to add to my blog. Let me assure you... my handwriting is much better than that. Unless of course I just woke up and am writing against a mattress as fast I as I can so I don't forget anything... then it looks a lot like what is shown above. I really have no idea what that text said, and maybe I shouldn't have put that guess in here, but oh well.
Yea,
-- Mike
I initially copied this outline into word. But I kinda thought that it was an interpretation of what had happened. And more specifically my interpretation, so an hour later I don't feel bad adding more to it, as it is mine to add. So here I how I wrote it up:
12 /13 / 09
Short Dream ~10min
Watch him leave house
Watch him ride around block
Take picture in basement
Send text message
I’m in front of mom’s house somewhat out of sight. She leaves the house. Matthew puts Garfield on his back on a bike and rides around the block, I don’t actually see him do this; he just leaves on a bike with the cat on his back. The cat is just lying down on his lower back. He sticks his head over the side like a dog out of a window. The bike is a fairly old mountain bike. They talk about Matthew’s deciding not to live, more like he’s board of living and is ready for other things. He rides somewhat dangerously but the cat says he’s glad not more so. Matthew says if the cat wasn’t there he would be. They take the short way around the Greens, mostly staying in the right hand lane.
I’m following them around the block in a plane, roughly 100ft up, barely faster than bike speed. Still faster than them, so I have to circle around sometimes. This keeps up for the duration of the block (which is a short one).
He pulls into the driveway and I park at Matt’s house (down the street (different Matt)). While landing I noticed another plane much higher than me kinda watching also. Matthew watching me, or government, or just another plane? I really don’t remember landing. I kinda slowed down over Matt’s house, and then I was in his basement. In the basement I put together some ingredients: Cereal, peanut butter, flower, sugar… about 8 ingredients. I really don’t remember what they were for but I knew at the time. I’d guess they were ingredients to make Reese’s Cups, or maybe no bake cookies. I take a picture of them with my camera, rearrange them and bring in some new ones, take another picture. As if they were two different but very similar recipes.
Then I sent Matthew a text saying something like, “Nice recruitment video.” I think it said more, like how I was impressed he rode around the block with the cat on his back. It might have totaled 14 words, but I’m not really sure what it said. “Nice recruitment video” was the closest thing to it I could think of when I woke up.
This is my first picture to add to my blog. Let me assure you... my handwriting is much better than that. Unless of course I just woke up and am writing against a mattress as fast I as I can so I don't forget anything... then it looks a lot like what is shown above. I really have no idea what that text said, and maybe I shouldn't have put that guess in here, but oh well.
Yea,
-- Mike
December 10 Dream
I walked into like a police break room, and it became clear that I was their Sargent, we were on an island below Japan, and I didn't speak Japanese and they all did. So I kinda wandered around the office trying not to get noticed. I looked at a map but it didn't look like Japan but I still knew I was below it. So I tried some of the lockers to put my coat in. They all had pretty big locks on them but all the locks were undone already, so I guess I looked at the lock for a while then put my coat away. I then walked around some of the computers, it looked like they were running XP so I thought I would log onto my email. But the first one I tried was locked up and the second was at the blue screen of death. I looked around for others and there were a few but I didn't really feel like checking my email anymore. So I sat down at the table in the middle of the room where some of the officers where sitting. The two across from me started speaking pretty quickly in Japanese as if they were registering a professional complaint. But I couldn't understand a word of it, I wanted to interrupt them and let them know that I didn't understand but I kinda felt that I didn't know their culture so I shouldn't chance it. When they finished I tried explaining to them that I spoke English and couldn't understand a word they were saying. So I finally said "American" which they understood, so they pointed to one of the officers behind me who was non-oriental. So I mentioned to him that I needed an interpreter for the day which he didn't seem to care about. So I said I would make him my partner which overjoyed him. He started thanking me and asking "really" like I had just made his life goal. Throughout my entire time in this room I got that idea that I really was their Sargent but they kinda resented me because of something I had recently done, but they were willing to give me a second chance and this was it. Also, that they would follow me no matter what I did but they still didn't approve of whatever it is I had done. There was also some test, but I don't remember taking it. We got our exam breakdowns back. It was like a full page of text printed landscape, and I could read lots of it. I got a 30% in English. I think it was measuring my knowledge of English, like a 100% would be that I knew everything about English. On the other side I got like a 10% in "British" and a 0% in Japanese. The officer next to me was showing off his scores in a way that was meant to put me down. He got a 287% in Japanese, a 40% in English, and like 30% in "British."
So that's the end of scene 1.
We left the station all in one car that was like a Oldsmobile Wagon. They told me that most of the officers had gotten into suitcases in the trunk, and then there were like 3 more in the back seat, and my interpreter was driving. We drove through lots of skyscrapers that kinda reminded me of Las Vegas. Some of the casinos had the same names but there were banks that I recognized. I think it was a one way road through all these large buildings and there wasn't much traffic. I spent a good bit of time looking out the windows at the buildings, recognizing a few but not all. I guess we drove to a park.
End of scene 2.
At the park we walked over by a fence and under a couple trees and started throwing a bunch of Frisbee and Aerobies around the park, there were a couple of other people at the park doing this as well. There was like a Zen-master to our right and far away that was combining the Aerobies into different shapes and throwing those with interesting results. He once made an M and threw it kinda over a large fence a few other Aerobies went over the fence at the same time. And the M circled back and knocked the fence over from the inside. So I ran across the field to retrieve it for him and I got it and some of the others, then threw the M back to him in a really arching way. He had already started making his next disk, which at the time looked like four fish swimming in a circle following each others' tails right in front of him. The M fell down the center of the fish and the whole thing transformed into a shark-like thing with it's tail rapped around its body where the fish had been. It fell to the ground and twitched a little. Then I think the master took it back and started reforming it.
End of scene 3.
Actually, that might have been the end of the dream. But the next one totally goes along with it.
So I was walking along in like a superstore, I got the idea that I was with someone, like my parents, but I never saw them. But I did see someone that looked like my sister shopping with what looked to be her parents (but they definitely weren't our parents) And from the Japanese dream I had met my two brothers and talked to them but I really don't remember when that happened. So I figured I'd go talk to her about that dream. I asked her if we could go to a different isle and talk. So we went to the next isle over. I told her that I had a sister that looked just like her. She was 24 and I was 22, she went to UNC and I went to Mines. I was kinda recalling these things like the real world was a dream that I was telling her about. I told her about the Japanese dream. I knew in the dream that the Japanese dream had been a dream but it never dawned on me that this too could be one.
End of scene 4.
I think this dream lasted about a day. When I went into the station it was morning and at the end of the park scene I think the sun had set. Actually, the superstore scene might have been the next day. It kinda seemed like the morning also. I'm sure I left so much out. Like when I woke up I could remember all the conversations I had had in each of the dreams, and everything that I had thought. But almost an hour later there are holes in the stories that I just don't remember, but something did happen there.
-- Mike
So that's the end of scene 1.
We left the station all in one car that was like a Oldsmobile Wagon. They told me that most of the officers had gotten into suitcases in the trunk, and then there were like 3 more in the back seat, and my interpreter was driving. We drove through lots of skyscrapers that kinda reminded me of Las Vegas. Some of the casinos had the same names but there were banks that I recognized. I think it was a one way road through all these large buildings and there wasn't much traffic. I spent a good bit of time looking out the windows at the buildings, recognizing a few but not all. I guess we drove to a park.
End of scene 2.
At the park we walked over by a fence and under a couple trees and started throwing a bunch of Frisbee and Aerobies around the park, there were a couple of other people at the park doing this as well. There was like a Zen-master to our right and far away that was combining the Aerobies into different shapes and throwing those with interesting results. He once made an M and threw it kinda over a large fence a few other Aerobies went over the fence at the same time. And the M circled back and knocked the fence over from the inside. So I ran across the field to retrieve it for him and I got it and some of the others, then threw the M back to him in a really arching way. He had already started making his next disk, which at the time looked like four fish swimming in a circle following each others' tails right in front of him. The M fell down the center of the fish and the whole thing transformed into a shark-like thing with it's tail rapped around its body where the fish had been. It fell to the ground and twitched a little. Then I think the master took it back and started reforming it.
End of scene 3.
Actually, that might have been the end of the dream. But the next one totally goes along with it.
So I was walking along in like a superstore, I got the idea that I was with someone, like my parents, but I never saw them. But I did see someone that looked like my sister shopping with what looked to be her parents (but they definitely weren't our parents) And from the Japanese dream I had met my two brothers and talked to them but I really don't remember when that happened. So I figured I'd go talk to her about that dream. I asked her if we could go to a different isle and talk. So we went to the next isle over. I told her that I had a sister that looked just like her. She was 24 and I was 22, she went to UNC and I went to Mines. I was kinda recalling these things like the real world was a dream that I was telling her about. I told her about the Japanese dream. I knew in the dream that the Japanese dream had been a dream but it never dawned on me that this too could be one.
End of scene 4.
I think this dream lasted about a day. When I went into the station it was morning and at the end of the park scene I think the sun had set. Actually, the superstore scene might have been the next day. It kinda seemed like the morning also. I'm sure I left so much out. Like when I woke up I could remember all the conversations I had had in each of the dreams, and everything that I had thought. But almost an hour later there are holes in the stories that I just don't remember, but something did happen there.
-- Mike
Saturday, November 28, 2009
It's Been Done
Those who judge are right
about only those who stop
and waste time judging.
We have memory
a record of what we’ve thought
so we can focus.
Teachers must possess
a passion for the future
a better world.
Subtlety is plain
simplicity its focus
all are not in one.
Attention starving
the words made to fit the real
the records all false.
Self referential
irony in awareness
and missing the point.
I can see you down
conforming to a level
below the aware.
Forced recordings
conceptually opposite
compared to nothing.
Debts are not private
choose to repay someone else
paying it forward.
All things rearranged
never again how they were
do we lack something?
Fitting in a form
forward our path is chosen
limited communication.
During the process
our thoughts changed to surround it
no longer our own.
Similarities
dismissed and few exploited
personal limits.
Built from other things
we are all made powerful
limits self defined.
I think those first fourteen go together. I think that these next three don't go with them, but I'm not sure. I wrote them around the same time but about specific things. Also, while typing them up, the one change I seriously considered was: "limited communication." to "such limited communication." But I think the count is obviously broken how it is and doesn't need me measuring the extent to which it is limited.
Knowledge in pocket
it’s encrypted socially
its contents removed.
We choose not to see
past the level we limit
ourselves to observe.
I’m going for it
I’ll take the convenient steps
and I will look back.
Well, that's that.
Peace -- Mike
about only those who stop
and waste time judging.
We have memory
a record of what we’ve thought
so we can focus.
Teachers must possess
a passion for the future
a better world.
Subtlety is plain
simplicity its focus
all are not in one.
Attention starving
the words made to fit the real
the records all false.
Self referential
irony in awareness
and missing the point.
I can see you down
conforming to a level
below the aware.
Forced recordings
conceptually opposite
compared to nothing.
Debts are not private
choose to repay someone else
paying it forward.
All things rearranged
never again how they were
do we lack something?
Fitting in a form
forward our path is chosen
limited communication.
During the process
our thoughts changed to surround it
no longer our own.
Similarities
dismissed and few exploited
personal limits.
Built from other things
we are all made powerful
limits self defined.
I think those first fourteen go together. I think that these next three don't go with them, but I'm not sure. I wrote them around the same time but about specific things. Also, while typing them up, the one change I seriously considered was: "limited communication." to "such limited communication." But I think the count is obviously broken how it is and doesn't need me measuring the extent to which it is limited.
Knowledge in pocket
it’s encrypted socially
its contents removed.
We choose not to see
past the level we limit
ourselves to observe.
I’m going for it
I’ll take the convenient steps
and I will look back.
Well, that's that.
Peace -- Mike
Saturday, November 21, 2009
I am
I want to listen to people talk about what matters to them and to me. Talk about what they think things should be like. Almost in the form of a conversation wherein one party ends up doing all the talking. This happened to me recently twice. A couple days ago I was walking to school and this ~55yr old, by chance of timing, ended up walking almost next to each other. He opened by asking if I was on my way to class and what I was studying. But, I think after it became clear I was not trying to get rid of him, he just started talking. Still about relevant things, each building off of the last, beginning from his graduation at Mines in 1970-something. It wasn’t quite him monologue-ing, there were intermittent questions that I thought I gave thoughtful enough answers to. By the Golden library we ended up going different ways.
The second time was last night. The two people I was with had a slow-going dialogue that covered a variety of topics. This was very different from the first in that whenever they were talking I felt eager to speak my mind and have their attention focused on me. However, when they naturally finished with what they had to say I no longer felt that I needed to say anything. It went back and forth between them for hours and I rarely entered to speak my mind. The times I did I felt that I was merely grabbing for attention. This happened under a few other circumstances last night. While I was “pacing” around I often felt that I wanted attention. I acted on this a few times and got all giggly when I thought their focus was on me.
The first event really reminded me of the movie ‘Waking Life’. After watching it I really want my life to be like that. I want to listen to people talk about what matters to them; the first sentence revisited. I want to learn new things and think in new ways. I strongly agree with lots of the themes in that movie with one notable exception (not noted here). It’s really hard to describe but the first couple times I watched it, it was a perfect metaphor for my life. I relate to the main character with the small exception that I know I’m still alive and aware. I think I’ve changed in a few ways since watching the movie but it’s pretty unlikely they can all be attributed to it. I occasionally listen to NPR now, read the Wall Street Journal, walk to school earlier than usual / alone, eat lunch at Burger King (I don’t think this is as irrelevant as it seems at first glance), listen to Pandora, and talk to people, almost to the extent of opening up to them.
I know that I dreamed before watching the movie and I guess I can recall some of them. But it really seems that after the movie I remember them differently, at least for a few seconds after waking up, I can also remember having very specific, real, and appropriate feeling within dreams recently. As soon as I woke up once, I focused on what I had felt in the dream and realized that I had been completely myself. I doubted things, thought about things that weren’t immediately happening, and expressed emotions like empathy within the dream. So I think now that I’ve felt or could feel anything in a dream with the possible exception of an undisputed knowledge that I’m awake.
While awake it seems obvious to me that I am awake. After an unusual event, I may be brought into question whether or not I’m dreaming but soon I just know that I’m obviously awake. There’s some fundamental test I do in my head and I know I’m awake without dispute.
So, that’s the only thing that I’m not sure I can feel in a dream.
Also, last night and in the movie, the topic of lucid dreaming was / is discussed in some detail. However, I haven’t had a lucid dream in years. Back in the day when I realized I was dreaming, I could control things for a bit but I would always wake up before I wanted to.
Peace -- Mike
The second time was last night. The two people I was with had a slow-going dialogue that covered a variety of topics. This was very different from the first in that whenever they were talking I felt eager to speak my mind and have their attention focused on me. However, when they naturally finished with what they had to say I no longer felt that I needed to say anything. It went back and forth between them for hours and I rarely entered to speak my mind. The times I did I felt that I was merely grabbing for attention. This happened under a few other circumstances last night. While I was “pacing” around I often felt that I wanted attention. I acted on this a few times and got all giggly when I thought their focus was on me.
The first event really reminded me of the movie ‘Waking Life’. After watching it I really want my life to be like that. I want to listen to people talk about what matters to them; the first sentence revisited. I want to learn new things and think in new ways. I strongly agree with lots of the themes in that movie with one notable exception (not noted here). It’s really hard to describe but the first couple times I watched it, it was a perfect metaphor for my life. I relate to the main character with the small exception that I know I’m still alive and aware. I think I’ve changed in a few ways since watching the movie but it’s pretty unlikely they can all be attributed to it. I occasionally listen to NPR now, read the Wall Street Journal, walk to school earlier than usual / alone, eat lunch at Burger King (I don’t think this is as irrelevant as it seems at first glance), listen to Pandora, and talk to people, almost to the extent of opening up to them.
I know that I dreamed before watching the movie and I guess I can recall some of them. But it really seems that after the movie I remember them differently, at least for a few seconds after waking up, I can also remember having very specific, real, and appropriate feeling within dreams recently. As soon as I woke up once, I focused on what I had felt in the dream and realized that I had been completely myself. I doubted things, thought about things that weren’t immediately happening, and expressed emotions like empathy within the dream. So I think now that I’ve felt or could feel anything in a dream with the possible exception of an undisputed knowledge that I’m awake.
While awake it seems obvious to me that I am awake. After an unusual event, I may be brought into question whether or not I’m dreaming but soon I just know that I’m obviously awake. There’s some fundamental test I do in my head and I know I’m awake without dispute.
So, that’s the only thing that I’m not sure I can feel in a dream.
Also, last night and in the movie, the topic of lucid dreaming was / is discussed in some detail. However, I haven’t had a lucid dream in years. Back in the day when I realized I was dreaming, I could control things for a bit but I would always wake up before I wanted to.
Peace -- Mike
The Meaning of My Life
Maybe all life has the same meaning, maybe not
The meaning of life is threefold, to: live, love, and learn.
The meaning of these words is likely similar but not exactly the same for everyone.
I, of course, have my own interpretations which I might go into later.
So, that's the meaning of life... there it is... right there. The search is over.
But I realized that I was not satisfied with the meaning of life. So I knew it... so what?
So what? So what should I do with my life?
The answer to that is also easily stated. I'm not sure people are looking for the meaning of life when they ask about it. I wanted something that I could say was a life goal.
I want to do a couple of things in my life.
Work hard, and make some money. Not even so I'll have the money later, as if I were building up a fund to pay for my future actual living of life. But just as its own thing... I want to work and I want some cash-money-dollar-bill-ya'll in the bank.
Explore space. I guess when I look at the earth and all the things we're doing, space exploration is something that should be done. And I would like to help.
The other thing that mankind is doing that I feel should be done is helping others. I want to put effort into teaching, providing necessities, and improving life for those who want those things.
I have the nagging feeling that everything I'm typing really doesn't express what I'm thinking. Like, I can think something, for example writing about the meaning of life. But I move on and away from that. I have to force myself to come back to it and assign words to put into notepad.
Like, I'm writing this so it's recorded. And if I didn't write it, it would be lost when I moved on to lunch.... mmm lunch. Not like the overall topic would be lost but these exact words I'm using to describe what I'm thinking. Because they're only temporary, once I've dedicated thought into typing and expressing what I'm thinking the words no longer are exactly right. They're just a close approximation made after the fact and because I've decided to type them the next thing that I would have thought about was lost. So, I either record nothing and just wander around in my mind without stopping, then lose it all, or record it knowing that any reader, self included, will never be where I was in my head.
Ignoring that last paragraph, working hard is something I want to do in my life. I don't really care about the money, but that's how I choose to express my desire to work hard, is by saying that I want to be the best at my job and make money because I work hard.
So, future self... here is what I should do.
Work to further the human understanding. Space if I feel like it, but anything will do.
Make the world a better place for those who want it better.
Peace -- Mike
The meaning of life is threefold, to: live, love, and learn.
The meaning of these words is likely similar but not exactly the same for everyone.
I, of course, have my own interpretations which I might go into later.
So, that's the meaning of life... there it is... right there. The search is over.
But I realized that I was not satisfied with the meaning of life. So I knew it... so what?
So what? So what should I do with my life?
The answer to that is also easily stated. I'm not sure people are looking for the meaning of life when they ask about it. I wanted something that I could say was a life goal.
I want to do a couple of things in my life.
Work hard, and make some money. Not even so I'll have the money later, as if I were building up a fund to pay for my future actual living of life. But just as its own thing... I want to work and I want some cash-money-dollar-bill-ya'll in the bank.
Explore space. I guess when I look at the earth and all the things we're doing, space exploration is something that should be done. And I would like to help.
The other thing that mankind is doing that I feel should be done is helping others. I want to put effort into teaching, providing necessities, and improving life for those who want those things.
I have the nagging feeling that everything I'm typing really doesn't express what I'm thinking. Like, I can think something, for example writing about the meaning of life. But I move on and away from that. I have to force myself to come back to it and assign words to put into notepad.
Like, I'm writing this so it's recorded. And if I didn't write it, it would be lost when I moved on to lunch.... mmm lunch. Not like the overall topic would be lost but these exact words I'm using to describe what I'm thinking. Because they're only temporary, once I've dedicated thought into typing and expressing what I'm thinking the words no longer are exactly right. They're just a close approximation made after the fact and because I've decided to type them the next thing that I would have thought about was lost. So, I either record nothing and just wander around in my mind without stopping, then lose it all, or record it knowing that any reader, self included, will never be where I was in my head.
Ignoring that last paragraph, working hard is something I want to do in my life. I don't really care about the money, but that's how I choose to express my desire to work hard, is by saying that I want to be the best at my job and make money because I work hard.
So, future self... here is what I should do.
Work to further the human understanding. Space if I feel like it, but anything will do.
Make the world a better place for those who want it better.
Peace -- Mike
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Glimpse of my Second Quarter
Recently the Navy offered me a jump into the second quarter of my life as a prospective Submarine Officer in the "Navy Nuclear Propulsion Officer Candidate (NUPOC) Program." The pay seemed comparable to what I could make in the civilian world*, the position was guaranteed for my five year service, and the experience managing a team that worked directly with a nuclear reactor would have likely proven invaluable when finding my life after the Navy.
* On top of comparable pay they would have given me $100 a day, everyday, until I graduated with my master's degree... on top of a $15,000 selling soul bonus.
So far I haven't signed my life away for two reasons:
If the program is worth entering, then why does the Navy recruit people in school? It seems they could offer this program to recently graduated Nuclear Engineers and not pay them to do nothing before they graduate. So my conclusion is that they are exploiting their informational advantage. ((not that it's relevant, but...) I believe any one person is inherently good, but any group of people is not necessary.) A recently graduated Nuclear Engineer may look at the Navy's offer and laugh, while an uncertain undergraduate has never gotten a serious career offer before and might be tricked into signing five years of their life away without knowing what its worth.
The second reason has been based on a potential misunderstanding. I am under the impression that a candidate signed their life away and then their future position in the Navy was determined. But I guess now that I think about it, I could probably make the position I was looking at. Since that's no longer a reason and I promised two of them I'll makeup another. The importance of life does seem to be bell-curved in nature (you'll never guess what I'm looking at while writing this) and I don't think that I'm going to make a decision that affects so much of second quarter life while still in the first. (... and yes, I am afraid of commitment (... not that that's relevant either)).
Realizing that I'm still very much so in the first quarter of life, ~600 days away from graduation, and not worried about either makes me think that I'm a pretty content person (I was going to say 'complacent' but I don't like the self-serving implications some of the definitions have). With regard to my second quarter: whatever will be, will be... future me can figure the rest of my life out; for the future is not ours to see. Hopefully, he's happy with whatever career wanders his way after graduation.
Also of interest, yesterday a rattlesnake offered me a one way jump to the fourth quarter of my life. But, I declined, I'm pretty interested to how future me plays the future I've dealt him.
Peace -- Mike
* On top of comparable pay they would have given me $100 a day, everyday, until I graduated with my master's degree... on top of a $15,000 selling soul bonus.
So far I haven't signed my life away for two reasons:
If the program is worth entering, then why does the Navy recruit people in school? It seems they could offer this program to recently graduated Nuclear Engineers and not pay them to do nothing before they graduate. So my conclusion is that they are exploiting their informational advantage. ((not that it's relevant, but...) I believe any one person is inherently good, but any group of people is not necessary.) A recently graduated Nuclear Engineer may look at the Navy's offer and laugh, while an uncertain undergraduate has never gotten a serious career offer before and might be tricked into signing five years of their life away without knowing what its worth.
The second reason has been based on a potential misunderstanding. I am under the impression that a candidate signed their life away and then their future position in the Navy was determined. But I guess now that I think about it, I could probably make the position I was looking at. Since that's no longer a reason and I promised two of them I'll makeup another. The importance of life does seem to be bell-curved in nature (you'll never guess what I'm looking at while writing this) and I don't think that I'm going to make a decision that affects so much of second quarter life while still in the first. (... and yes, I am afraid of commitment (... not that that's relevant either)).
Realizing that I'm still very much so in the first quarter of life, ~600 days away from graduation, and not worried about either makes me think that I'm a pretty content person (I was going to say 'complacent' but I don't like the self-serving implications some of the definitions have). With regard to my second quarter: whatever will be, will be... future me can figure the rest of my life out; for the future is not ours to see. Hopefully, he's happy with whatever career wanders his way after graduation.
Also of interest, yesterday a rattlesnake offered me a one way jump to the fourth quarter of my life. But, I declined, I'm pretty interested to how future me plays the future I've dealt him.
Peace -- Mike
Sunday, September 13, 2009
The Past Couple of Days
Thursday
I looked at the square root of 5 once around 7:00a and just memorized it to 10 digits without really trying (and I can still remember it all),(5 because I've already memorized sqrt 2 and 3 to 10 digits). Dave (my new neighbor / drinking buddy) wanted to play pool, so we headed over to the Blue Canyon around 8:00p. This was our second time to do so. He's better than me at pool, consequently I believe he won three out of the five games over 3 or 4 beers; mostly blue moon (with orange) and Coors Light. We then stumbled over to Ace High Tavern around 9:30p because I knew some kids that were going to be there. Thursday is beer pong night, so we watched and chatted with lots of people in the bar drinking pitcher after pitcher of Coors Light. Turns out I knew many of the people there. Colby came in second in the BP tournament. After around midnight Dave switched over to Whiskey and Coke, so I just started getting Coors Light be the glass. We stumbled out around 1:30a, just before closing. Somewhere in there I glanced at the square root of 7 and memorized that to 10 digits. Also of interest, those two square roots have some striking similarities in the first 10 digits (sqrt (5) = 2.2360679773, sqrt (7) = 2.6457513110).
Friday
Turns out I have school on Friday independent of whether or not I'm still drunk when I wake up. I went to sleep around 2:00a and got up at 6:15a for my class at 9:00a. Curtis and I sat front row in Macroeconomics because the second row did not have available neighboring seats. Dr. Kulkarni tells some pretty corny jokes throughout every class, and I appreciated them a bit more this class. I didn't ever break out laughing, but I often just sat there smiling on the inside. I confessed to Curtis, who found it pretty interesting, that I was probably still drunk (making this my first time to ever be drunk or even hung-over in class). I don't believe my note taking or material retention was too affected. After Macro came Probability (as it usually does) and Dr. Navidi is really funny, also in a corny way. (On a side note: lol at http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/snitch8.mp3) So, overall classes were pretty fun. I got back to the house around 11:10a and while really hung-over I decided to go camping (of note, I'm really hung-over while writing this). I quickly texted around to see if people wanted to come, turns out they too had class on a weekday. I did my laundry, packed up, and left around 2:50p for White Ranch Open Space. I weighted in at 180 lbs and 221 lbs with the pack. My walk to White Ranch was 4.1 miles with 300' elevation gain; I made it in exactly 1 hour. Once in the park I went an additional 4.0 miles with another 1500' elevation gain in 1 hour and 6 minutes. Unfortunately, the well on top of the mountain was dry, so over the 20 hours I was gone I only had 2 liters of water to drink. I spent some time talking to a fellow backpacker by the name of Darrell. Friday night I slept from 9:30p to 8:30a and enjoyed it.
Saturday
In the morning I finished my loaf of banana bread, packed up, and started down the mountain pretty early to avoid the 50% chance of rain starting at noon. I was pretty close to the parking lot when it started, so I asked a mountain biker by the name of Gary for a ride to Golden. Making this my first time to hitchhike. Gary dropped me off in northern Golden and I walked back arriving around 11:00a. I weighted in at 177 lbs and 211 lbs with pack. The seven pounds the pack lost was comprised of 2 L of water and 3 lbs of bread. So, (without dropping trou) I lost a pound every two hours even during my 11 hours of sleep. After unpacking, eating, taking a shower, eating, RockBand, eating, homework, telling Dave his phone number had changed, taking a walk around town, and giving directions to Lyons park I spent a bit of time on the intersphere then noticed a party on top of 715-B. Apparently for Angel and her two friends the roof is the place to be at dusk. Around 7:20p Dave and I headed out to the bowling alley. I won the first game but both of our scores were pretty terrible. The second game I believe Dave won by a couple pins but we both scored around double my first game score. We finished up our second pitcher of Coors Light and began searching for the pool table. There were a few people in the back room, two of them playing pool, so we got started on our third pitcher and listened to the DJ. The music was that of a mafia hangout and it worked well in the pool-table-in-the-back-room atmosphere. Dave challenged the two guys playing pool to doubles and while they were finishing up their game Josh showed up around 10:10p (driving, Josh only had one glass (the plastic kind of glass)). So we got our fourth pitcher and started playing doubles (alternating every shot not turn). We lost the first, won the second, and lost the third while listening to the ramblings of a 55 year old roofer. Josh took off around the time Dave and I began playing singles, as usual he won by one ball. Dave talked Royce (the more talkative old guy) into buying the four of us Jose Cuervo shots, complete with salted thumb and lime. Although, I don't think the salt did very much. At this point it was a few minutes from closing, so Dave and I had to drink the fifth pitcher pretty quickly, then we sat around outside for 20 minutes talking to the DJ who was pretty cool. We stumbled over to Burger King, got a car to trip the sensor, ordered, and were thrown out of the drive through for some rude comments Dave made at the first window. Back home, I walked in to find quite the gathering of Physics students preparing to watch Sean of the Dead. So I poured myself one of what they were drinking (Skyy and OJ) and joined them. I fell asleep as the characters made their way through the alley passing similar versions of themselves ~2:00a.
Sunday
I woke up at 5:00a without realizing I had slept then wandered up to bed and got some real sleep. I got up around 10:30a and after some delicious eating started writing this. I'll probably do some Senior Design homework this evening and head to bed early.
Welp, that was a pretty fun weekend...
Now that I've got the equipment in Golden I'll likely start going camping pretty frequently. Although, White Ranch is really the only place within walking distance where camping is allowed.
Peace – Mike
I looked at the square root of 5 once around 7:00a and just memorized it to 10 digits without really trying (and I can still remember it all),(5 because I've already memorized sqrt 2 and 3 to 10 digits). Dave (my new neighbor / drinking buddy) wanted to play pool, so we headed over to the Blue Canyon around 8:00p. This was our second time to do so. He's better than me at pool, consequently I believe he won three out of the five games over 3 or 4 beers; mostly blue moon (with orange) and Coors Light. We then stumbled over to Ace High Tavern around 9:30p because I knew some kids that were going to be there. Thursday is beer pong night, so we watched and chatted with lots of people in the bar drinking pitcher after pitcher of Coors Light. Turns out I knew many of the people there. Colby came in second in the BP tournament. After around midnight Dave switched over to Whiskey and Coke, so I just started getting Coors Light be the glass. We stumbled out around 1:30a, just before closing. Somewhere in there I glanced at the square root of 7 and memorized that to 10 digits. Also of interest, those two square roots have some striking similarities in the first 10 digits (sqrt (5) = 2.2360679773, sqrt (7) = 2.6457513110).
Friday
Turns out I have school on Friday independent of whether or not I'm still drunk when I wake up. I went to sleep around 2:00a and got up at 6:15a for my class at 9:00a. Curtis and I sat front row in Macroeconomics because the second row did not have available neighboring seats. Dr. Kulkarni tells some pretty corny jokes throughout every class, and I appreciated them a bit more this class. I didn't ever break out laughing, but I often just sat there smiling on the inside. I confessed to Curtis, who found it pretty interesting, that I was probably still drunk (making this my first time to ever be drunk or even hung-over in class). I don't believe my note taking or material retention was too affected. After Macro came Probability (as it usually does) and Dr. Navidi is really funny, also in a corny way. (On a side note: lol at http://download.lardlad.com/sounds/season16/snitch8.mp3) So, overall classes were pretty fun. I got back to the house around 11:10a and while really hung-over I decided to go camping (of note, I'm really hung-over while writing this). I quickly texted around to see if people wanted to come, turns out they too had class on a weekday. I did my laundry, packed up, and left around 2:50p for White Ranch Open Space. I weighted in at 180 lbs and 221 lbs with the pack. My walk to White Ranch was 4.1 miles with 300' elevation gain; I made it in exactly 1 hour. Once in the park I went an additional 4.0 miles with another 1500' elevation gain in 1 hour and 6 minutes. Unfortunately, the well on top of the mountain was dry, so over the 20 hours I was gone I only had 2 liters of water to drink. I spent some time talking to a fellow backpacker by the name of Darrell. Friday night I slept from 9:30p to 8:30a and enjoyed it.
Saturday
In the morning I finished my loaf of banana bread, packed up, and started down the mountain pretty early to avoid the 50% chance of rain starting at noon. I was pretty close to the parking lot when it started, so I asked a mountain biker by the name of Gary for a ride to Golden. Making this my first time to hitchhike. Gary dropped me off in northern Golden and I walked back arriving around 11:00a. I weighted in at 177 lbs and 211 lbs with pack. The seven pounds the pack lost was comprised of 2 L of water and 3 lbs of bread. So, (without dropping trou) I lost a pound every two hours even during my 11 hours of sleep. After unpacking, eating, taking a shower, eating, RockBand, eating, homework, telling Dave his phone number had changed, taking a walk around town, and giving directions to Lyons park I spent a bit of time on the intersphere then noticed a party on top of 715-B. Apparently for Angel and her two friends the roof is the place to be at dusk. Around 7:20p Dave and I headed out to the bowling alley. I won the first game but both of our scores were pretty terrible. The second game I believe Dave won by a couple pins but we both scored around double my first game score. We finished up our second pitcher of Coors Light and began searching for the pool table. There were a few people in the back room, two of them playing pool, so we got started on our third pitcher and listened to the DJ. The music was that of a mafia hangout and it worked well in the pool-table-in-the-back-room atmosphere. Dave challenged the two guys playing pool to doubles and while they were finishing up their game Josh showed up around 10:10p (driving, Josh only had one glass (the plastic kind of glass)). So we got our fourth pitcher and started playing doubles (alternating every shot not turn). We lost the first, won the second, and lost the third while listening to the ramblings of a 55 year old roofer. Josh took off around the time Dave and I began playing singles, as usual he won by one ball. Dave talked Royce (the more talkative old guy) into buying the four of us Jose Cuervo shots, complete with salted thumb and lime. Although, I don't think the salt did very much. At this point it was a few minutes from closing, so Dave and I had to drink the fifth pitcher pretty quickly, then we sat around outside for 20 minutes talking to the DJ who was pretty cool. We stumbled over to Burger King, got a car to trip the sensor, ordered, and were thrown out of the drive through for some rude comments Dave made at the first window. Back home, I walked in to find quite the gathering of Physics students preparing to watch Sean of the Dead. So I poured myself one of what they were drinking (Skyy and OJ) and joined them. I fell asleep as the characters made their way through the alley passing similar versions of themselves ~2:00a.
Sunday
I woke up at 5:00a without realizing I had slept then wandered up to bed and got some real sleep. I got up around 10:30a and after some delicious eating started writing this. I'll probably do some Senior Design homework this evening and head to bed early.
Welp, that was a pretty fun weekend...
Now that I've got the equipment in Golden I'll likely start going camping pretty frequently. Although, White Ranch is really the only place within walking distance where camping is allowed.
Peace – Mike
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Junior Year
I’ve recently thought about blogging a lot. I wrote a few rough drafts and never finished them... So I now I’m thinking that I’m going to just copy and old post and call it a new one. It’s called recycling, and it’s good for the environment...
The big news this week being that I’ve been offered, and accepted, admittance to the Nuclear Engineering (Master of Science (Non-Thesis)) combined MS-BS program at the Colorado School of Mines, beginning Fall 2010. So it looks like I’ve got another two years at the school and probably in this house. This semester I routinely entered some rooms on campus in which, to my surprise, one person was always talking to many people, typically about:
Introduction to Feedback Control Systems, A: With Norm K. Hecht... It seems unlikely that many people come out of this class with something they’ll use one day... but if you ever give me the exact transfer function for a closed or open loop system I could tell you so many things about it that you probably already had to know to get to the transfer function. Like Info-Systems I went into this class with no hope of being able to apply the things I would learn and turned out being right for the most part. It was a nice refresher on solving second order differential equations with Laplace transformations. Also like Info-Systems, I acknowledged that I would gain nothing from the class, but would still learn what was taught, do the work, and get an A. Also of interest, Norm showed up half an hour late to the final without enough tests, made worse by the immediately following Fluid Dynamics test, in the same room, for the majority of the Mechanical Engineers in the room. There were also some humorous moments when he attempted to operate a computer.
Machine Design, A: With Cara Coad and Kelly... I’m not sure how I approached this class initially. However, a month into the class, it became obvious that this class should be called: “How to be a Mechanical Engineer,” and I began learning everything I could from it. The labs were worthwhile and educational, although my lab partner could have been more punctual; he often waited until the hours before class to write his parts of the reports. This was quite unnerving for me. I finished and sent him my parts of the reports the day it was assigned and made him swear to finish his parts before the day it was due. Also of interest, I got a 66% on the first test, which greatly upset me. However, very strong performances on the homework, labs, and other tests seem to have made up for it. I went into Cara’s office many times to talk about my academic plan and a letter of recommendation she wrote for my graduate application. I really like her as an instructor and person. Also, I’m currently undecided how to thank her, Roz Yocom, and Geri Boone for their letters of recommendation, but I need to do it soon.
Multidisciplinary Engineering Laboratory III, A: With Tom Grover, Ryan, and Colby... Ryan and I took names and kicked ass, respectively. It’s not that Colby did nothing, it’s just that Ryan and I did everything. But because Colby seemed willing to do his share there is no animosity. I think this is how I see teamwork: Not necessarily that the work is evenly distributed but that every member on the team would do everything for the team, giving credit to the team because they believe the other members would do the same. The first third of the class analyzed the efficiency of a refrigeration system relying on fundamentals learned in Thermodynamics. Our report received a 93%, mainly because our data was significantly off and in places incorrectly analyzed. The second third dealt with LabVIEW controlling the Tinius Olsen Machine, relying on fundamentals learned in Feedback Control and Field Session. Unfortunately, only Colby had taken Field Session so our LabVIEW controller was built very slowly. Fresh out of the LabVIEW week of Field Session, I could program a far superior controller in under an hour. We received a perfect 100% and a personally delivered compliment form Tom regarding our report. Our team thoroughly understood every aspect of that lab (with the exception of the LabVIEW controller, which I now realize worked differently than we thought it did making our data appear to be three to five times faster than it was). The course concluded with the analysis of a bicycle’s front suspension through an onboard data acquisition system alongside Working Model, an engineering simulator (similar to IncrediBots (which I thank Jeff for introducing me to), if one were to add a graph). This experiment went pretty well. Even after applying a correction to the GPS, it still said Colby rode through the Green Center, in a way that walls typically prohibit, on his way around campus.
Heat Transfer, B: With Richard Passamaneck... The average on the second test was a 54% (This professor is very well known around campus for his exams). I did unacceptably on every exam with exception to the final. I believe that the two hours I answered those five questions taught me a great deal about heat transfer. I believe, given the opportunity, I could score higher on every exam throughout the year because of this. Throughout the year I had put my faith in my homework and notes to guide me through an exam and during the final I turned to the book for guidance.
Introduction to Logic, B: With Monika von Glinski... I didn’t enjoy the first half of this class dealing with sentential logic. This instructor was a very nit-picky grader. Although, understandably on the homework something is either correct or incorrect and there are very many ways something can be incorrect. I believe this class re-unearthed my problem with authority that I don’t respect. In the first months of the class I was very uninterested in a low-level (in a derogatory / underclassman way not a foundational way) English class. This combined with, what I saw as, small errors on graded work resulting in poor recorded grades caused me to not respect the class.
I took relatively few credits this semester partly because Christmas breaks have been my only breaks since August of 2007 and partly because I thought I would focus and do better taking fewer credits, which I guess is not the case. This semester lowers my GPA to 3.697. Normally I would talk about next semester at this point, but after being accepted into grad school I will likely change my schedule soon.
Well, I’m going to try and write a real blog post soon... I’m currently thinking of writing about: pot, insults, kids in the casa, hypocrisy, grad school, or some combination as hypocrisy applies to many things and many people.
Peace -- Michael
The big news this week being that I’ve been offered, and accepted, admittance to the Nuclear Engineering (Master of Science (Non-Thesis)) combined MS-BS program at the Colorado School of Mines, beginning Fall 2010. So it looks like I’ve got another two years at the school and probably in this house. This semester I routinely entered some rooms on campus in which, to my surprise, one person was always talking to many people, typically about:
Introduction to Feedback Control Systems, A: With Norm K. Hecht... It seems unlikely that many people come out of this class with something they’ll use one day... but if you ever give me the exact transfer function for a closed or open loop system I could tell you so many things about it that you probably already had to know to get to the transfer function. Like Info-Systems I went into this class with no hope of being able to apply the things I would learn and turned out being right for the most part. It was a nice refresher on solving second order differential equations with Laplace transformations. Also like Info-Systems, I acknowledged that I would gain nothing from the class, but would still learn what was taught, do the work, and get an A. Also of interest, Norm showed up half an hour late to the final without enough tests, made worse by the immediately following Fluid Dynamics test, in the same room, for the majority of the Mechanical Engineers in the room. There were also some humorous moments when he attempted to operate a computer.
Machine Design, A: With Cara Coad and Kelly... I’m not sure how I approached this class initially. However, a month into the class, it became obvious that this class should be called: “How to be a Mechanical Engineer,” and I began learning everything I could from it. The labs were worthwhile and educational, although my lab partner could have been more punctual; he often waited until the hours before class to write his parts of the reports. This was quite unnerving for me. I finished and sent him my parts of the reports the day it was assigned and made him swear to finish his parts before the day it was due. Also of interest, I got a 66% on the first test, which greatly upset me. However, very strong performances on the homework, labs, and other tests seem to have made up for it. I went into Cara’s office many times to talk about my academic plan and a letter of recommendation she wrote for my graduate application. I really like her as an instructor and person. Also, I’m currently undecided how to thank her, Roz Yocom, and Geri Boone for their letters of recommendation, but I need to do it soon.
Multidisciplinary Engineering Laboratory III, A: With Tom Grover, Ryan, and Colby... Ryan and I took names and kicked ass, respectively. It’s not that Colby did nothing, it’s just that Ryan and I did everything. But because Colby seemed willing to do his share there is no animosity. I think this is how I see teamwork: Not necessarily that the work is evenly distributed but that every member on the team would do everything for the team, giving credit to the team because they believe the other members would do the same. The first third of the class analyzed the efficiency of a refrigeration system relying on fundamentals learned in Thermodynamics. Our report received a 93%, mainly because our data was significantly off and in places incorrectly analyzed. The second third dealt with LabVIEW controlling the Tinius Olsen Machine, relying on fundamentals learned in Feedback Control and Field Session. Unfortunately, only Colby had taken Field Session so our LabVIEW controller was built very slowly. Fresh out of the LabVIEW week of Field Session, I could program a far superior controller in under an hour. We received a perfect 100% and a personally delivered compliment form Tom regarding our report. Our team thoroughly understood every aspect of that lab (with the exception of the LabVIEW controller, which I now realize worked differently than we thought it did making our data appear to be three to five times faster than it was). The course concluded with the analysis of a bicycle’s front suspension through an onboard data acquisition system alongside Working Model, an engineering simulator (similar to IncrediBots (which I thank Jeff for introducing me to), if one were to add a graph). This experiment went pretty well. Even after applying a correction to the GPS, it still said Colby rode through the Green Center, in a way that walls typically prohibit, on his way around campus.
Heat Transfer, B: With Richard Passamaneck... The average on the second test was a 54% (This professor is very well known around campus for his exams). I did unacceptably on every exam with exception to the final. I believe that the two hours I answered those five questions taught me a great deal about heat transfer. I believe, given the opportunity, I could score higher on every exam throughout the year because of this. Throughout the year I had put my faith in my homework and notes to guide me through an exam and during the final I turned to the book for guidance.
Introduction to Logic, B: With Monika von Glinski... I didn’t enjoy the first half of this class dealing with sentential logic. This instructor was a very nit-picky grader. Although, understandably on the homework something is either correct or incorrect and there are very many ways something can be incorrect. I believe this class re-unearthed my problem with authority that I don’t respect. In the first months of the class I was very uninterested in a low-level (in a derogatory / underclassman way not a foundational way) English class. This combined with, what I saw as, small errors on graded work resulting in poor recorded grades caused me to not respect the class.
I took relatively few credits this semester partly because Christmas breaks have been my only breaks since August of 2007 and partly because I thought I would focus and do better taking fewer credits, which I guess is not the case. This semester lowers my GPA to 3.697. Normally I would talk about next semester at this point, but after being accepted into grad school I will likely change my schedule soon.
Well, I’m going to try and write a real blog post soon... I’m currently thinking of writing about: pot, insults, kids in the casa, hypocrisy, grad school, or some combination as hypocrisy applies to many things and many people.
Peace -- Michael
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