1. The Mines fireworks display last Friday was the coolest fireworks show I've ever seen.
2. My belief is stronger than ever that only the people that like everyone they meet, like me.
3. I don't like my acne, my horrible social skills, or my self image.
I recently brought these things up with that psychologist of Mine, Dr. Sweeper. He suggested that I was taking the easy way out of life. Disliking one’s self is simple; doing so creates more evidence for the cause. If one perceives them-self as disliked they will act the part, and a negative spiral ensues. The person will begin to think in terms of others dislike for them and may begin to mistakenly interpret the comments and actions of others to support their beliefs. Dr. Sweeper (which I can’t say with a strait face (sorry to break the mood)) also proposed the hypothesis that not talking could be a cry for help or that by showing as little of who I am as possible I was isolating myself from the world.
Dr. Sweeper may be onto something here…
L8R -- Michael
3 comments:
I have a feeling that I'm one of those people mentioned in #2... Which I suppose is fairly accurate... Except there really are some people I can't stand (BC comes to mind) but even then I suppose I'm fairly nice to them. Don't get me wrong though, I don't just like you because I "like" everyone. I mean, I wouldn't have gone hiking with you 3 times if that were the case.
As for Dr. Sweeper's theories, I think he really does have something there. It can be hard to like yourself. I'm getting there. I still have my moments. And those moments make me really angry. I used to not like myself at all. I think part of the trick is to find someone else that likes you, because it makes it a lot easier to see positive aspects of yourself. granted, to do that you have to not completely isolate yourself. Good luck with that though. I don't know how many friends you have out in Longmont but hopefully you have some people to hang out with. That, and getting together with Luke for the bike lessons will definitely be good for you. I'd like to visit but we'll see how do-able that is when the time comes and everything settles down. I have a feeling these next 2 or so weeks are going to be very hectic and upsetting for me. But yeah, hang in there and try to believe in yourself. You've got plenty of positive things about you despite the negative ones that are so obvious to you.
I just got a chance to read your blog, I was out of town for a few day and couldn't get my hand on the internet. To be honest, I was busy having fun with my friend at the beach and I didn't even think about going online. Sorry for that. Well, all the thing I wanted to say, Joey (whom i never met) already said it. Thanks to Joey, and take care, Michael.
Well, I will have to agree that hating yourself is pretty easy. I think the real and only solution you can have, apart from the dramatic paradigm shift in thinking that, while you may want it, is a bit of a pipedream, is to find people that make you forget how you feel. That's what I've been doing, and I feel miraculously better about everything now. This year has been a big frenzy for me of hanging out with a lot of people, and I think the first step is that. Once you're around people that you enjoy the company of for long enough you can honestly shed yourself of your negative misconceptions because you spend so much time feeling rather good rather than like shit. But yeah, I don't think introspective thought is the answer for saddness. Don't get me wrong, introspective thought serves a lot of purpose, but consulting Dr. Sweeper can't solve your problem (though he's a damned fast doctor for you), only forgetting those feelings about yourself entirely can.
...In my opinion.
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